Anniversaries, vow renewals and romance at home

Romance is not only for honeymooners. Couples who have been together for years often say that the small things, a surprise note, a weekend away, a shared ritual, matter as much as any grand gesture. Anniversaries give a natural moment to pause and celebrate, and they are a wonderful excuse to travel.

Anniversary traditions

Wikipedia's article on the wedding anniversary describes it as the anniversary of the date a wedding took place, and notes that couples often mark it by celebrating their relationship, either privately or with a larger party, with special celebrations and gifts for particular milestones. In some cultures, traditional names exist for milestone anniversaries; fifty years of marriage, for example, may be known as a golden wedding anniversary.

The same article explains that associating anniversaries with precious metals such as gold and silver has a long history in Germanic countries, and that in English-speaking countries the tradition of anniversary gift-giving became more prevalent in the nineteenth century. It notes that paper was recommended for the first anniversary, wood for the fifth and tin for the tenth, and that the list of anniversaries and associated gifts grew over time.

These themes can be a fun starting point for a gift or a trip. A paper anniversary might mean a handwritten letter, a map of a place you plan to visit, or tickets for a journey. A wooden anniversary might suggest a cabin in the woods. Let the tradition spark ideas rather than dictate them.

Anniversary trips

An anniversary trip does not need to be long or far. A night at a country inn, a weekend in a city you love or a return to your honeymoon destination can be deeply romantic. Some ideas:

• Return to where it began. Revisit the place you met, got engaged or spent your honeymoon.
• Somewhere neither of you has been. Discovering a new place together recreates the excitement of early trips.
• A small inn close to home. See B&Bs and country inns for two.
• A milestone journey. For a big anniversary, the trip you always talked about but never took.

Renewing your vows

Some couples choose to mark a milestone by renewing their vows. Wikipedia's article on the wedding vow renewal ceremony describes it as a ceremony in which a married couple renew or reaffirm their marriage vows, and notes that most take place in churches, many denominations offering a service for the reaffirmation of marriage. For some couples, it explains, a renewal offers the chance to celebrate the wedding they never had, and among the reasons couples give are having passed through a difficult time, celebrating a significant anniversary, or having a religious ceremony when their original wedding was not one.

A vow renewal can be as simple or as elaborate as you like: a quiet ceremony with your children and closest friends, a party with the people who were at your wedding, or a private moment on a beach far from home. Some couples write new vows reflecting the years they have shared; others repeat their original words. A renewal abroad is usually a symbolic ceremony rather than a legal one, which makes it simpler to arrange. The destination wedding planning guide has useful ideas for arranging a ceremony away from home.

Romance at home

Between trips, small rituals keep a relationship feeling cared for:

• A regular date night. Protect it from other commitments. It need not be expensive; a walk, a picnic or a film at home counts.
• Cook together. Recreate a meal you loved on a trip, or learn a dish from a place you want to visit.
• Plan the next trip. Browsing destinations together is a pleasure in itself, and gives you something to look forward to.
• Write to each other. A note tucked into a bag or left on a pillow can make someone's day. The guide to love notes has ideas.
• A home spa evening. Candles, a long bath and no phones.
• Revisit your photographs. Look through pictures of your wedding and your travels together.

Dinners and small celebrations

A romantic dinner, whether in a restaurant or at home, is the most classic way to mark an anniversary. Choose somewhere with meaning, perhaps the place of an early date, or cook something special together. Dress up a little. Put phones away. Make a toast to the year gone by and the year ahead.

Keeping the story going

Every anniversary adds a chapter to your shared story. Whether you celebrate with a grand trip or a quiet evening, taking time to notice the milestone is what matters. And if you save the top tier of your wedding cake for your first anniversary, as some couples do, the custom described in the wedding cake gives you a sweet way to begin.